Get with the times man and check out the Uno, a one-handed watch. Two hands? That's just so second millennium. German watchmaker Klaus Botta's design makes seconds and minutes irrelevant; with the Uno, be on time-ish.
The slacker's watch is available in mechanical automatic (€490)or quartz (starting at €229) from Botta, though non-German speakers may have a tough time deciphering.