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Predictable Valentine's day fare validates everything consumerist and cheesy about the made-up holiday. For paramours and life partners alike, these gifts are perfect ways to treat sweethearts to something as special as they are. Check them all out after the jump.

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Firefly Lube
Firefly, a brand-new, all-natural lube features a laundry list of perks like zero preservatives, latex compatibility, neutral taste, soothing Green Tea Extract, and moisturizing Cocoa and Shea Butters, outdoing its smelly, sticky competitors in every way.

$18 from Firefly

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See Birds and Bees design that can be yours for $240.

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My Beating Heart
A worthy surrogate bedmate, this cuddly heart-shaped pillow features a tiny motor that softly pulses, mimicking a lifelike heartbeat.

Also on Cool Hunting: Hands On: My Beating Heart

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Jones Soda
Bring this kit on a romantic picnic and enjoy two bottles of Jones' Love Potion #6, a coupon book redeemable for items like "uninterrupted gazing into each others eyes" and two more bottles of soda, a CD sampler, and Love Potion #6 lip balm.

$10 from Jones Soda.

Also on Cool Hunting: Jones Soda Co. 2005 Holiday Pack

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Razor Blade Necklace
Crafted by Brooklyn-based jewelry designer Judith Hoetker, this bauble forgoes Tiffany preciousness for rocker allure — love hurts.

$114 from Artez'n

Ukiyo5 Limited Edition Silk Ties
Designed by Swiss-based artist Ukiyo5, the Japanimation-influenced vector graphics on these 100% silk ties can be secreted away under a sportcoat if the occasion demands.

$38 from Pixelgirl Shop.

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Lovebundle
Classic mix tapes are unbeatable for expressing perfect High Fidelity-style love, but a custom playlist burned on one of these discs should still get your Valentine in the right mood.

$7.50 from 5inch

via Popgadget.

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Les Champignons
Michel Cluizel's mushrooms feature a caramel-filled stem and a cap of almond nougatine. The upshot is nothing short of exquisite.

Starting at $10 from Michel Cluizel. Also, if you' plan to celebrate in New York, make reservations from 9 February through 14 February for Michel Cluizel's 10-course chocolate sampling menu ($30) at his new stateside outpost. Call 212-477-7335.

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Love and Hate Mimobots
A limited edition of 333 each, this collaboration with Shawnimals, the latest from Mimoco, kicks off their Artist-designed Mimobot series and is also available as a plush toy.

Starting at $60 each from Mimoco

Also on Cool Hunting: Mimoco goSeries

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